1. |
Your Arms
05:21
|
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real
your arms are real
but if your heart’s not in it
why go on trying to win it
when I can’t get behind me
you remind me to breathe
and so my understanding deepens
keep me here (I want to revolve you)
under my (like you are the sun)
skin light bare (with feet caked in mud can)
naked and (I face the sun)
intimate (or have you left my reach)
I’m giving over
keep me here (I want to revolve you)
feet on the (like you are the sun)
ground no fear (with feet caked in mud can)
we can lie down (I face the sun)
down (I’m falling)
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2. |
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there’s no sense in you
if I tried to strip away
all the fabric that your motives lay I’d
find a blackened lump
which I wouldn’t even try to touch
it would make me want to lose my lunch now hear me
you are terrified of a loving hand and
you don’t understand you have no plan but
you still stomp around in boots you’ve filled with
all of your loneliness your lack of thrill
you are the fuck-up
you are the threat
you are the system
you are the debt
my mouth will find your warmth again it seeks you
it won’t be itself while it needs you
beggar and yet it chose you
it lets you know it won’t let you go far hold on hard
be on your way and it will keep you
even so close closer hungry receives you
leave it to leak in and fully it eats you
believe when all of your meat it relieves you
and equal to its weight in gold is its worth as an ass to an egg
it will warm you and hatch
you and always in its arms will house you
my mouth will be full of you
what have I become
a bulls head on my neck has sprung
from all the hatred that my chest has strung and
I am so confused
I don’t get why you take the view
that you own another’s choice to do just what they
want from their deepest house the place where love is
born inside all of us the place you’ve frozen
you house no harmony you are the sound of
dead skin and jealous I am astounded
you just don’t get it
you are the threat
you are the system
you are the debt
how come every time you speak its filled with daggers
how come every call you make is for your own swagger
how can I make real with you if lay behind that
hateful shaking mass is a child that died
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3. |
Face Forward
05:01
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I left early (I’m sick of the demon nights that I choose to attend)
I left no note (step down the starlit block trying to mend)
I said to myself (all the pathways in my head as though I found a map)
I have no hope (to a place with a time machine or a place where I can nap)
I deserve nothing (I don’t deserve this)
I don’t get what I deserve (oh god)
I have time ahead (I am not)
I face forward
I looked up and (4AM and I’m in my bed but my head is on a wheel)
I saw the stars (can’t seem to fall asleep what an ugly way to feel)
I saw myself in them (outside there are several stars falling to the ground)
I stepped off (how strange that those falling stars never seem to make a sound)
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4. |
Other Small Bodies
05:15
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I am keeping things from you
you see me weak with hunger
but I’m patient
so I’m comfortable and I am
overflowing with love for you
big open arms digging in
but your mass is dwindling
gravity thinning
unbounded I’m swimming
but there
are other small bodies in space
if you don’t contain me I’ll go seek my pleasure away
in an orbit dependent on some other sun
so untether me let me pleasure me
only I’ll give over let open a better me
talk of a better day it will be better this way
another small body in space
and I will travel
I will be lost
I’ll try the language
I will get closer to me
and I’ll be savage
I will be tall
I’ll let it get lavish
I need a culture to bathe in
water to wade in
you can’t stomach it
I don’t need things from you
I’ve had my fill I am full of you and
I’ll take what I have you and
I give over ownership of you
keep all your tender and all of your soap
even contained I’m to hungry a ghost
and I’m going
breathe if I could just breathe
I’d know what I need
to defeat the king whose will makes the habits of my mind
breathe if I could just breathe
I’d know what I need
to strip away the nagging thoughts that make a hostage of my mind
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5. |
FORGET/Our Heads
03:36
|
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and who
we loved
before
we met
and what
we had
already
left
forget
and when
it looked
like all
we’d want
and when
we knew
we’d never
get
and who
we keep
within
our heads
|
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6. |
Make Me Smaller
06:04
|
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did you
mean to
make me
smaller
make me
fit where
it felt
safe contained
just in
case I
fucked you
over again
you were
ready
not to be
affected by it
I forgot
you needed me
but you were
too weak to reach out
and I too
angry at your desertion
that I pretended
I didn’t need you
I rely on
your reflection
too much I know but you are
guilty of it too
and you
already decided you’d never forgive me
so I
play out
what you have written me to do
what’s the point
we build it up
and let it fall
we know we have no power at all
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7. |
Your Hands/My Gut
05:02
|
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your hands
are not
clean either
your mouth
is open
unforgiving
I’ve already said everything
the desk
with you bent over
the scented
soap on your skin
I’ve already had everything
from a bitter hold I report the mold that I feel
but in my sunken heart I am apart of the steal
I cannot fix the maze
the hallways all lead to walls there is no
path beyond the angry wand
that points at the swollen guts of the thieves
home lays my body down
belonging
home but I cannot unplug the
longing
just the other day I thought I found my way to the milk and honey
with rolling hills and happy pills and fluffy bunnies
when I put out the call
the demons I grew came up from the stew
with smiling lace they kissed my face
and drove their icy sword my gut
|
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8. |
Of Your Leaves
06:06
|
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turn me over (wooden heart)
I’m a new leaf (I promise)
encounter me (no more hide)
bring your best foot (I’ll walk true)
put it forward (love the dancing)
I am turning (of your leaves)
I followed you hear and the air is thin
and your arms are thinner than I remember
my bones can feel the chill
I can’t hold us both up
should I find my own way down
could I separate from you now
you feel like you’ve been here before
but I can’t believe you would be here again
you could be here again
my head is lighter than I need
the grass was green at sea
I was built for sea
I’ll wait hear for it, I am turning.
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Whatever's Clever Brooklyn, New York
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music by our buddies and shelled lizard appreciation
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